Hello. It's me, Dee. I am writing this post with hopes that it'll be the therapy I need to keep my sanity in check. Don't worry... I'm fine. The kids are fine. My marriage is fine. Honestly , everything is fine and life is good! But for some reason I don't feel like I'm fine. Today I am feeling moody or down but I just do not know why... Can you relate and how is this possible? I haven't exactly figured it out yet but I do know I have a lot to be thankful for. And yet, I don't feel as fine as I think I should. At this point, I'm not even sure if anyone in the world is truly fine. People are really going through it right now...
SO, HOW ARE YOU?!
"How are you?" This is such a polite question to ask. Often times when people ask each other how they're doing no one expects a long explanation or the truth about how someone is really doing. We often times expect a quick "I'm fine" or "I'm okay" or "good" and if you're lucky they'll respond with an "and how are you?" But what if they're not doing so good? What if they need someone to talk to or genuinely wanted to be there for you and you hid how you're really doing? Is it too late to change your answer?
Now, you're in a position where you either have to...
a) suck it up to be there for others while possibly deeply drowning in your sorrows
b) avoid feelings and how you're doing at all cost
I started today with option B (avoiding feelings and how I'm doing at all cost). But then the feeling of being fine but not really grew bigger and bigger and before I knew it I noticed I wasn't as fine as I initially said or thought I was. So there's your answer. It is never too late to change your answer! Always own up to your feelings so you can first be there for yourself so you can then for be there for others.
In my last blog post "Pandemic Parenting" I gave you guys advice that is tried and true. I shared three tips to deal with the stresses of being a parent in these times. Check it out if you haven't already because it really goes for anyone and you don't have to be a parent.
HOW TO BE HUMAN IN A MODERN INHUMANE WORLD
Today, I'm simply giving you advice about dealing with stresses as a person. I am proof that finding your therapy really does work. As a black woman in society I constantly feel the pressure to do it all, be it all, and to not break because black women are everything but WEAK. We used to be the type to not talk feelings but that day is long gone and feelings are important and worthy in every discussion. I'm your reminder that whoever you are and whatever your accomplishments are in life, it is okay to not be okay all the time. Life can be exhausting and that is okay. Allow yourself moments of weakness so you can be a stronger person moving forward. Allow yourself to be human because you are human. Allow yourself to take the weight off of everyday expectations so you can rest your wellness for whatever is waiting for you next. YOU ARE IRREPLACEABLE and your loved ones are counting on you to BE YOU!
I am so grateful for this creative outlet where I can write my thoughts down to assess how I'm doing or feeling. Without it, this pandemic alone would get the best fo me every time. It truly is therapeutic for me and I am feeling better as the words flow from my fingertips to your devices. Comment to let me know what works for you. Don't forget to answer my question so I can know how you're doing. For you, I'd choose option A all day every day!
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LOVE,
DEE